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Friday, March 16, 2007
Table of Contents
This Is Me
Welcome to my E-Portfolio. Wow! I can't believe I’m closing in on the end of my first quarter of college. While it's been a positive experience for me overall, it has been accompanied by a range of emotions. I've gone from feeling afraid of my new challenge, to feeling like I didn't belong in college english, to a sense of relief that I was able to write an essay again, and to self satisfaction because I found out I could really do it. When I met with Professor Lolly Smith one night I told her that English had to be my worst subject ever. She told me everyone says that, but I told her it had to be!! I must be doing better than I give myself credit for because I'm maintaining an A. But, if anything can make my head feel like it's going to explode, it's English. Part of it could be because I've been out of school for 18 years now, and haven't written one essay during that time. I graduated in 1989 and couldn't attend college because I was a new mother. Instead I had to make my way into the working world. But, when I lost my job in November, 2006, I began soul searching to figure out what it was I wanted to do for me. Making a decision this huge was scary, but so exciting at the same time. Now I have a long term goal to do something I know I will love - to become a veterinarian. For anyone who knows me, they know that there isn't anything better suited for me to do on a daily basis than to work with animals.
This class was not only about writing essays, it brought me up to speed on what a discussion board and a blog was and how to use them. I really enjoyed the discussion board throughout the quarter. They allowed me to feel like even though I was not in a classroom with my classmates, I was able to learn about who they were and form a foundation of trust with them. The code of ethics we had for our discussion board made the trust issue come easier. When we know that we aren't going to be treated with negativity and rudeness we are more likely to lay out our questions and statements. But, the first time I had to post something that required me to show my critical thinking skills – the thesis statement - I was nervous. Not only did I not know what I was doing, I had to show everyone!! The group discussion boards had the same requirements, and ended up being just as helpful and fun. They allowed me to get to know one group of six people better, and rely on them for feedback, critiquing, and expertise. We shared discussions about movies we watched and our views on them, and used them as a place to submit our rough drafts for essays. The best benefit of the class for me was the ability to post pieces of my essays; a rough draft, a thesis statement, or a final copy, to my group discussion board and receive their suggestions on how to improve it.
This English 101 class was made up of four parts - identity, community, tradition, and our E-Portfolio. We began this class by studying identity. My interpretation of this word was about who I am. I didn't realize until well into our first discussion boards that it means much more. Identity is not only who we are, but it is how others view us and how we view them. It became obvious to me that we were all too quick to judge others; trying to determine who someone is from the outside without knowing who they are inside. One of our discussion boards was based on an essay we read called, "High Schools Secret Life" by Emily White (Remix 15). We were to write about the parallel of two things we recalled from high school with her essay. I chose to write about popularity and cliques, because these were both important things to me in high school. For popularity it was important to have the "cool" lunch period. This was determined by who had it, obviously the one with the most popular kids was the coolest. Cliques were important to me, as they were for many kids, because it gave us a sense of belonging. Popularity played into cliques, because each of them were categorized into which was the most popular. Jocks were always at the top of the list, with preppies close behind. I realize now that I'm older that neither popularity of cliques play a part in everyday life, but it was who I was at that time of my life.
The next topic we studied was community. Prior to reading essays and having discussions with classmates, I didn't realize what was actually considered a community – anything where multiple people are involved and they are sharing the same interests. It doesn't have to be a group of people that are joining each other for bible study, 4H, or Brownies, but it can be all the people that go to Starbucks for coffee. One of our assignments for this chapter was to make an entry into our blog about a community we are involved in, what makes it a community, what values and interests the people share, and what tensions or differences work against the cohesion of the community. I chose to write about my church. We are a community because we all want to know God through His son, Jesus Christ, and we do that together every Sunday. Our values are love, honesty, faith, and family. We are faced with challenges from other religious groups and anti-believers, but the one I wrote about are the TV shows on Discovery that are always based on the fiction of Jesus Christ. Each person should be allowed to practice the faith they choose, and as we learn not to criticize others for their choices and love them unconditionally, it would be great if that's how it worked in return.
The last topic we studied was tradition; this was my favorite. I love traditions in my home, passed down from my family, which I’m trying to pass down to my son. Our essay was about our choice of items in pop culture that we felt was changing or challenging a tradition. I chose video games – that was easy for me since I’ve seen my son play video games since he was 3 years old, and how the games have changed over the years. The violence, sex, and rude behavior challenge my innermost traditions, so I really enjoyed writing about it. My thesis for this essay was "Today the cultural obsession with video games is changing the way children play and interact with their friends." My arguments for this thesis were things such as when I was a child we had video games available, and while we thought they were cool, our traditions were strong enough to pull us back to playing among our group of friends; today's children don't engage in enough athletic activities, which is unhealthy; no longer is it important for children to use their imaginations to come up with activities to do with their friends, they are using it to play and describe their play in video games; instead of friendly competition with their friends they are engaging in competition that is based on violence and anger. On the other hand, if playing video games is what children love, they should be allowed to have fun doing that; traditions don’t last forever; each generation is constantly creating new ones. Although there are negative effects from playing video games, it is important to realize that children’s play time will change along with technology. A better approach for parents can be to have a balance in supporting their children by allowing those things they love, while continuing to guide them toward making good, healthy choices.
These are the writings I chose to share:
Critical Writing - this is a timed writing that took place after watching and analyzing the movie "Remember the Titans". This was our last assignment in the Identity chapter, and what I feel shows my best analytical skills. We spent a week reviewing the movie and discussing it with an assigned group of classmates prior to our timed writing assignment. This movie was about being an outcast or outsider, and we had to depict why that was and how it effected the lives of the people in the movie.
Re-write Essay - this was our second timed writing of the quarter, and was also based on a movie we watched. This time I watched "Lone Star". This movie was our last assignment for the chapter on community, and our assignment was to write about our view on non-conformity and conformity and how it crossed the line of our cultural and personal views. We reviewed the movie and wrote about it for a week in a discussion board with assigned classmates. When I wrote the essay I spent more time analyzing the content of the movie than discussing how my cultural and personal views were challenged. I think this essay could benefit from a re-write.
Audience & Voice - this was my first group discussion board, and it was also part of the Identity chapter. This assignment asked us to read two essays in the chapter, "Dude Looks Like A Lady" by Kathy Wilson (Remix 21) and "The "He" Hormone" by Andrew Sullivan (Remix 25), and identify the thesis and how the author argued their point. Kathy Sullivan's essay was about being a woman but looking like a man, and the challenges that brought her which forced her to prove her identity as a woman. The other essay by Andrew Sullivan was about his story of taking testosterone and what that has done for him. He also discussed facts from his views on what testosterone does specifically for a man vs. a woman, and what the signs of not enough are for a man vs. what too much is for a woman.
Writers Choice - this is my final essay for this class, and one in which I could see my personal growth through my writing skills. This was from the Tradition chapter. Our assignment was to write an essay on a pop culture which is challenging a tradition. As indicated above, I wrote this essay about video games and how I see them impacting the tradition of play for children today vs. the children of my era.
This class was not only about writing essays, it brought me up to speed on what a discussion board and a blog was and how to use them. I really enjoyed the discussion board throughout the quarter. They allowed me to feel like even though I was not in a classroom with my classmates, I was able to learn about who they were and form a foundation of trust with them. The code of ethics we had for our discussion board made the trust issue come easier. When we know that we aren't going to be treated with negativity and rudeness we are more likely to lay out our questions and statements. But, the first time I had to post something that required me to show my critical thinking skills – the thesis statement - I was nervous. Not only did I not know what I was doing, I had to show everyone!! The group discussion boards had the same requirements, and ended up being just as helpful and fun. They allowed me to get to know one group of six people better, and rely on them for feedback, critiquing, and expertise. We shared discussions about movies we watched and our views on them, and used them as a place to submit our rough drafts for essays. The best benefit of the class for me was the ability to post pieces of my essays; a rough draft, a thesis statement, or a final copy, to my group discussion board and receive their suggestions on how to improve it.
This English 101 class was made up of four parts - identity, community, tradition, and our E-Portfolio. We began this class by studying identity. My interpretation of this word was about who I am. I didn't realize until well into our first discussion boards that it means much more. Identity is not only who we are, but it is how others view us and how we view them. It became obvious to me that we were all too quick to judge others; trying to determine who someone is from the outside without knowing who they are inside. One of our discussion boards was based on an essay we read called, "High Schools Secret Life" by Emily White (Remix 15). We were to write about the parallel of two things we recalled from high school with her essay. I chose to write about popularity and cliques, because these were both important things to me in high school. For popularity it was important to have the "cool" lunch period. This was determined by who had it, obviously the one with the most popular kids was the coolest. Cliques were important to me, as they were for many kids, because it gave us a sense of belonging. Popularity played into cliques, because each of them were categorized into which was the most popular. Jocks were always at the top of the list, with preppies close behind. I realize now that I'm older that neither popularity of cliques play a part in everyday life, but it was who I was at that time of my life.
The next topic we studied was community. Prior to reading essays and having discussions with classmates, I didn't realize what was actually considered a community – anything where multiple people are involved and they are sharing the same interests. It doesn't have to be a group of people that are joining each other for bible study, 4H, or Brownies, but it can be all the people that go to Starbucks for coffee. One of our assignments for this chapter was to make an entry into our blog about a community we are involved in, what makes it a community, what values and interests the people share, and what tensions or differences work against the cohesion of the community. I chose to write about my church. We are a community because we all want to know God through His son, Jesus Christ, and we do that together every Sunday. Our values are love, honesty, faith, and family. We are faced with challenges from other religious groups and anti-believers, but the one I wrote about are the TV shows on Discovery that are always based on the fiction of Jesus Christ. Each person should be allowed to practice the faith they choose, and as we learn not to criticize others for their choices and love them unconditionally, it would be great if that's how it worked in return.
The last topic we studied was tradition; this was my favorite. I love traditions in my home, passed down from my family, which I’m trying to pass down to my son. Our essay was about our choice of items in pop culture that we felt was changing or challenging a tradition. I chose video games – that was easy for me since I’ve seen my son play video games since he was 3 years old, and how the games have changed over the years. The violence, sex, and rude behavior challenge my innermost traditions, so I really enjoyed writing about it. My thesis for this essay was "Today the cultural obsession with video games is changing the way children play and interact with their friends." My arguments for this thesis were things such as when I was a child we had video games available, and while we thought they were cool, our traditions were strong enough to pull us back to playing among our group of friends; today's children don't engage in enough athletic activities, which is unhealthy; no longer is it important for children to use their imaginations to come up with activities to do with their friends, they are using it to play and describe their play in video games; instead of friendly competition with their friends they are engaging in competition that is based on violence and anger. On the other hand, if playing video games is what children love, they should be allowed to have fun doing that; traditions don’t last forever; each generation is constantly creating new ones. Although there are negative effects from playing video games, it is important to realize that children’s play time will change along with technology. A better approach for parents can be to have a balance in supporting their children by allowing those things they love, while continuing to guide them toward making good, healthy choices.
These are the writings I chose to share:
Critical Writing - this is a timed writing that took place after watching and analyzing the movie "Remember the Titans". This was our last assignment in the Identity chapter, and what I feel shows my best analytical skills. We spent a week reviewing the movie and discussing it with an assigned group of classmates prior to our timed writing assignment. This movie was about being an outcast or outsider, and we had to depict why that was and how it effected the lives of the people in the movie.
Re-write Essay - this was our second timed writing of the quarter, and was also based on a movie we watched. This time I watched "Lone Star". This movie was our last assignment for the chapter on community, and our assignment was to write about our view on non-conformity and conformity and how it crossed the line of our cultural and personal views. We reviewed the movie and wrote about it for a week in a discussion board with assigned classmates. When I wrote the essay I spent more time analyzing the content of the movie than discussing how my cultural and personal views were challenged. I think this essay could benefit from a re-write.
Audience & Voice - this was my first group discussion board, and it was also part of the Identity chapter. This assignment asked us to read two essays in the chapter, "Dude Looks Like A Lady" by Kathy Wilson (Remix 21) and "The "He" Hormone" by Andrew Sullivan (Remix 25), and identify the thesis and how the author argued their point. Kathy Sullivan's essay was about being a woman but looking like a man, and the challenges that brought her which forced her to prove her identity as a woman. The other essay by Andrew Sullivan was about his story of taking testosterone and what that has done for him. He also discussed facts from his views on what testosterone does specifically for a man vs. a woman, and what the signs of not enough are for a man vs. what too much is for a woman.
Writers Choice - this is my final essay for this class, and one in which I could see my personal growth through my writing skills. This was from the Tradition chapter. Our assignment was to write an essay on a pop culture which is challenging a tradition. As indicated above, I wrote this essay about video games and how I see them impacting the tradition of play for children today vs. the children of my era.
Analyze This
I chose my timed writing essay from the movie "Remember the Titans" to show my critical thinking skills. The assignment was to watch a movie of our choice and critically analyze how it confirmed and challenged our perceptions of what it is to be an outcast or outsider in our society or own culture.
Watching and reviewing a movie two or three times within a couple of days, being involved in group discussion boards, and analyzing the way people treat one another was an enlightening experience. I am not oblivious to racism or prejudice because it happens all the time, all around us, but I often forget the degree of it. Since I didn't experience first hand what it was like to have white and black people mix for the first time, movies like this are the closest thing I will have to see what it was like. Learning how my classmates viewed different acts of racism was interesting, because each of us picked up on different things during the movie. One of the scenes was one white kid and four black kids going to a restaurant after a game they had won. The owner wouldn't let them come into the restaurant and eat because he didn't allow any black people to come there. The white kid was sure that they could go and be let in because they were the football players from a team that was doing wonderful this season; the first school to have mixed races on the team and along with it they were succeeding. But, he was wrong. When they were turned away the black kids were let down, even though they knew they weren't going to be able to go in and eat there just because they were winning. While I viewed that the white kid misled his teammates because he was so confident, others in my class felt like he was just didn't realize they wouldn't be allowed in because he was new to town and not used to what the black kids had to deal with on a daily basis.
The movie made me think in depth about what "othering" meant. It is something I learned about in school, but don't think of very often. While I try to treat everyone equal, I don't think of the opposite of that as being "othering". An example of this in the movie is shown when a new head coach is hired for the football team and moves to town; he is black and the past coach is white. The white people in his neighborhood make statements such as, "Are they movers", It only takes one to be overrun by them", and "Here comes more of them". It is clear that the neighbors don't want any black people living on their street, or in their town.
The movie made it clear that the white people thought black people were outcasts. An example I brought up in my essay was Gary's girlfriend, Emma. She met one of the star football players, Julius. When Gary introduced her she refused to shake his hand. Later in the movie she and some friends came to where the bus dropped off the football players and they wanted Gary to go with them to a party. Gary wanted to spend time with Julius and some of the other guys and Emma told him that he had his priorities mixed up. Gary stood true to Julius and they became best friends. It wasn't until the end of the movie, after Gary was paralyzed from a bad car accident, that she began to reflect on her actions and opinions. She made peace with Julius after telling Gary she was the one with her priorities mixed up.
Overall this movie made me happy that I strive to treat everyone with respect. It doesn't matter to me if they are black, white, or Asian; if they are rich or poor; if they are my neighbor or a stranger.
Watching and reviewing a movie two or three times within a couple of days, being involved in group discussion boards, and analyzing the way people treat one another was an enlightening experience. I am not oblivious to racism or prejudice because it happens all the time, all around us, but I often forget the degree of it. Since I didn't experience first hand what it was like to have white and black people mix for the first time, movies like this are the closest thing I will have to see what it was like. Learning how my classmates viewed different acts of racism was interesting, because each of us picked up on different things during the movie. One of the scenes was one white kid and four black kids going to a restaurant after a game they had won. The owner wouldn't let them come into the restaurant and eat because he didn't allow any black people to come there. The white kid was sure that they could go and be let in because they were the football players from a team that was doing wonderful this season; the first school to have mixed races on the team and along with it they were succeeding. But, he was wrong. When they were turned away the black kids were let down, even though they knew they weren't going to be able to go in and eat there just because they were winning. While I viewed that the white kid misled his teammates because he was so confident, others in my class felt like he was just didn't realize they wouldn't be allowed in because he was new to town and not used to what the black kids had to deal with on a daily basis.
The movie made me think in depth about what "othering" meant. It is something I learned about in school, but don't think of very often. While I try to treat everyone equal, I don't think of the opposite of that as being "othering". An example of this in the movie is shown when a new head coach is hired for the football team and moves to town; he is black and the past coach is white. The white people in his neighborhood make statements such as, "Are they movers", It only takes one to be overrun by them", and "Here comes more of them". It is clear that the neighbors don't want any black people living on their street, or in their town.
The movie made it clear that the white people thought black people were outcasts. An example I brought up in my essay was Gary's girlfriend, Emma. She met one of the star football players, Julius. When Gary introduced her she refused to shake his hand. Later in the movie she and some friends came to where the bus dropped off the football players and they wanted Gary to go with them to a party. Gary wanted to spend time with Julius and some of the other guys and Emma told him that he had his priorities mixed up. Gary stood true to Julius and they became best friends. It wasn't until the end of the movie, after Gary was paralyzed from a bad car accident, that she began to reflect on her actions and opinions. She made peace with Julius after telling Gary she was the one with her priorities mixed up.
Overall this movie made me happy that I strive to treat everyone with respect. It doesn't matter to me if they are black, white, or Asian; if they are rich or poor; if they are my neighbor or a stranger.
The Problem with Othering
No matter what color we are on the outside, we are all subject to racism, prejudice, and feeling like an outcast. Whether we were brought up to be racial and discriminative, or loving and respectful to all, society’s unspoken rule silently states not everyone will ever be treated equal.
“Remember the Titans” was about a community of black and white people forced to come together because the school board elected to make them the first to mix black and white students. The movie took the viewers through rioting, segregated communities, a new football head coach of color, football players becoming a team against their will, a school system forced to integrate black and white students who have to get along and respect one another, and what the rewards were for doing such.
The movie reminds me that while I don’t live a racist life, and “other” people, there are many that do. The character Ray in this movie is a good example of someone that is born and raised to be prejudice, and never wants to change. At first he and Gary had the same feelings towards the black kids, they didn’t want to have any of them play defense, didn’t want to have to room with any of them, and didn’t want to get to know them when Coach Boone assigned them to. As the team goes through their challenges of becoming a team and working together, Ray cannot bring himself to do that.
Unfortunately we see these actions by our own teenagers when we walk in a school. Within the first five minutes of entering the front doors you can hear kids calling each other names and ganging up on the unpopular kid. As when Emma initially meets Julius and doesn’t want to shake his hand, that same thing happens when the new kid moves to town from another city. It doesn’t necessarily matter the color, he is looked at by how he dresses, and immediately “named” into a group. These kids can continue to go to school and still be an outsider the day they graduate; kids don’t always have the ability to see inside someone and realize they are a person who wants to fit in, just like the rest of them. Everyone wants to have friends and feel included.
The movie also reminds me that while I’m not racist it is going on all around me on a daily basis. The movie made me realize what “othering” really was, and I found new ways of hearing what people are saying and what they truly mean when they say it. When the Boone family is moving into their new neighborhood the neighbors are looking through their windows, none of them come to the street to greet the new family or introduce themselves. They make statements such as, “Are they the movers?”, “It only takes one to be overrun by them”, and “Here comes more of them”.
It is hard for me to see this and understand why this type of treatment continues to go on in this country. I am so quick to welcome someone, regardless of who they are. I teach my Son the same thing, as I don’t want him to be included in a group at school who is saying anything like this about the new kid in town. I know we see acts of outrage and violence between cultures on the news and TV shows, but the movie allowed me to bring it closer to home. It made me think more about what is going on in my community. I live in Granite Falls, where there are a lot of people that are called “Red Necks”, and made fun of because they wear Carhart clothing, Romeo’s for shoes, and drive beat up pick-up trucks. It is unfortunate that people in my community are not reminded that is the person inside that makes up who they are, not the clothing style they choose to wear, or the type of automobile they drive.
Whether we are rich or poor, black or white, man or woman, we are all made up of feelings inside. It cannot be fun to be treated like an outcast, when naturally all we want is to belong to something. If society could take the appearance of everyone and set it aside, and look inside to whom the person really is, this world would be a better place.
“Remember the Titans” was about a community of black and white people forced to come together because the school board elected to make them the first to mix black and white students. The movie took the viewers through rioting, segregated communities, a new football head coach of color, football players becoming a team against their will, a school system forced to integrate black and white students who have to get along and respect one another, and what the rewards were for doing such.
The movie reminds me that while I don’t live a racist life, and “other” people, there are many that do. The character Ray in this movie is a good example of someone that is born and raised to be prejudice, and never wants to change. At first he and Gary had the same feelings towards the black kids, they didn’t want to have any of them play defense, didn’t want to have to room with any of them, and didn’t want to get to know them when Coach Boone assigned them to. As the team goes through their challenges of becoming a team and working together, Ray cannot bring himself to do that.
Unfortunately we see these actions by our own teenagers when we walk in a school. Within the first five minutes of entering the front doors you can hear kids calling each other names and ganging up on the unpopular kid. As when Emma initially meets Julius and doesn’t want to shake his hand, that same thing happens when the new kid moves to town from another city. It doesn’t necessarily matter the color, he is looked at by how he dresses, and immediately “named” into a group. These kids can continue to go to school and still be an outsider the day they graduate; kids don’t always have the ability to see inside someone and realize they are a person who wants to fit in, just like the rest of them. Everyone wants to have friends and feel included.
The movie also reminds me that while I’m not racist it is going on all around me on a daily basis. The movie made me realize what “othering” really was, and I found new ways of hearing what people are saying and what they truly mean when they say it. When the Boone family is moving into their new neighborhood the neighbors are looking through their windows, none of them come to the street to greet the new family or introduce themselves. They make statements such as, “Are they the movers?”, “It only takes one to be overrun by them”, and “Here comes more of them”.
It is hard for me to see this and understand why this type of treatment continues to go on in this country. I am so quick to welcome someone, regardless of who they are. I teach my Son the same thing, as I don’t want him to be included in a group at school who is saying anything like this about the new kid in town. I know we see acts of outrage and violence between cultures on the news and TV shows, but the movie allowed me to bring it closer to home. It made me think more about what is going on in my community. I live in Granite Falls, where there are a lot of people that are called “Red Necks”, and made fun of because they wear Carhart clothing, Romeo’s for shoes, and drive beat up pick-up trucks. It is unfortunate that people in my community are not reminded that is the person inside that makes up who they are, not the clothing style they choose to wear, or the type of automobile they drive.
Whether we are rich or poor, black or white, man or woman, we are all made up of feelings inside. It cannot be fun to be treated like an outcast, when naturally all we want is to belong to something. If society could take the appearance of everyone and set it aside, and look inside to whom the person really is, this world would be a better place.
Did I Really Write this Essay?
For my re-write I chose my first essay on identity. The assignment for this essay was to write about the ways clothes say something about identity; the different ways clothes “advertise” who people are.
My original draft was written just a few days after I lost my Mother unexpectedly, and I wasn't able to give it 100% mentally. This paired with the fact that I hadn't written any kind of essay for 18 years was a recipe for slop. I got a B for the paper, but in hindsight, when I read it, I wonder if it was really worth a B.
The first thing I did was change my thesis. While the instructor noted that my thesis was interesting and strong, it was difficult to make the re-write work with it. I felt I needed to broaden what I was saying, still trying to get the same point across.
The old thesis was:
While clothing shows our personality to some level, it does not show the inter-most part of us; the kindness, intelligence, love or caring we can have for one another. Clothing strictly shows what our fashion personality is; what we like to wear.
The new thesis is:
Clothing creates an assumption of who a person is, based on how the clothing is seen worn in movies or in magazines. But, clothing only shows a person’s fashion personality, it does not show the inner-most part of them.
In the original essay I wrote one paragraph about how people wearing a business suit are perceived vs. who they really are. However, in one paragraph I wrote about how they are deemed "dressed for success" and intelligent, and entered a quote about being seen as well organized, poised, sophisticated, and confident. In the next paragraph I used my uncle as an example of this person, but how people perceive him as being snooty, unsociable, yuppyish, and impersonal. What I actually did was contradict the point I was trying to make in my thesis. I deleted these two paragraphs from my revised essay.
Since this was my first essay in at least 18 years I didn't differentiate very well between present and past tense, mixing my sentences to be both. I also used you, your, we, and us when I was talking to people in general, not to the reader. In my revision I went through and changed all of these to they, their, and people.
An example of a prior sentence that needed this type of revision:
For some of us clothing can make us feel good about ourselves, make us feel noticed in a crowd, and alter our moods. For others the actual clothing they have on, and the brand name of it, doesn’t matter.
The revision of this:
For some people clothing makes them good about themselves, making them feel noticed in a crowd. For others they choose their clothing because the media says it is the “thing to wear” to fit in.
Last, but certainly not least, I finished my thoughts in my revised essay. Originally I began a thought and let it go astray, just moving on to a different example or subject, without proving what I was trying to say.
An example from the original essay of this:
Society says if we see someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest clothes, that they are rich or spend a lot of money on clothing, that clothes are a high priority to them.
In my revision I stated it like this:
Society says that someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest outfits or athletic wear, are probably rich and spend a lot of money on clothing, or that clothes are a high priority to them, regardless of whether or not they can afford them. The perception of what we should wear comes from billboards and magazines or actors and actresses. After all, people in the public eye are the first to wear the newest outfit by Calvin Klein, be the first to use the latest snowboard gear by Burton, or sport the newest pair of Nike Shox.
The revision of this essay was very hard for me. It was a challenge to take something that was already written and see it through a new set of eyes. I thought about completely changing the essay, but I ended up keeping parts of it and added to it with what I felt better argued and upheld my thesis in regard to identity through clothing. It was also a challenge to go back to something I wrote 10 weeks ago. While it should've been easy after working to strengthen my writing skills, it was still hard to look at something I wrote at the beginning of the class and try to figure out what to do to make it better. While I have 12 weeks of English under my belt, I'm far from being a great writer.
My original draft was written just a few days after I lost my Mother unexpectedly, and I wasn't able to give it 100% mentally. This paired with the fact that I hadn't written any kind of essay for 18 years was a recipe for slop. I got a B for the paper, but in hindsight, when I read it, I wonder if it was really worth a B.
The first thing I did was change my thesis. While the instructor noted that my thesis was interesting and strong, it was difficult to make the re-write work with it. I felt I needed to broaden what I was saying, still trying to get the same point across.
The old thesis was:
While clothing shows our personality to some level, it does not show the inter-most part of us; the kindness, intelligence, love or caring we can have for one another. Clothing strictly shows what our fashion personality is; what we like to wear.
The new thesis is:
Clothing creates an assumption of who a person is, based on how the clothing is seen worn in movies or in magazines. But, clothing only shows a person’s fashion personality, it does not show the inner-most part of them.
In the original essay I wrote one paragraph about how people wearing a business suit are perceived vs. who they really are. However, in one paragraph I wrote about how they are deemed "dressed for success" and intelligent, and entered a quote about being seen as well organized, poised, sophisticated, and confident. In the next paragraph I used my uncle as an example of this person, but how people perceive him as being snooty, unsociable, yuppyish, and impersonal. What I actually did was contradict the point I was trying to make in my thesis. I deleted these two paragraphs from my revised essay.
Since this was my first essay in at least 18 years I didn't differentiate very well between present and past tense, mixing my sentences to be both. I also used you, your, we, and us when I was talking to people in general, not to the reader. In my revision I went through and changed all of these to they, their, and people.
An example of a prior sentence that needed this type of revision:
For some of us clothing can make us feel good about ourselves, make us feel noticed in a crowd, and alter our moods. For others the actual clothing they have on, and the brand name of it, doesn’t matter.
The revision of this:
For some people clothing makes them good about themselves, making them feel noticed in a crowd. For others they choose their clothing because the media says it is the “thing to wear” to fit in.
Last, but certainly not least, I finished my thoughts in my revised essay. Originally I began a thought and let it go astray, just moving on to a different example or subject, without proving what I was trying to say.
An example from the original essay of this:
Society says if we see someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest clothes, that they are rich or spend a lot of money on clothing, that clothes are a high priority to them.
In my revision I stated it like this:
Society says that someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest outfits or athletic wear, are probably rich and spend a lot of money on clothing, or that clothes are a high priority to them, regardless of whether or not they can afford them. The perception of what we should wear comes from billboards and magazines or actors and actresses. After all, people in the public eye are the first to wear the newest outfit by Calvin Klein, be the first to use the latest snowboard gear by Burton, or sport the newest pair of Nike Shox.
The revision of this essay was very hard for me. It was a challenge to take something that was already written and see it through a new set of eyes. I thought about completely changing the essay, but I ended up keeping parts of it and added to it with what I felt better argued and upheld my thesis in regard to identity through clothing. It was also a challenge to go back to something I wrote 10 weeks ago. While it should've been easy after working to strengthen my writing skills, it was still hard to look at something I wrote at the beginning of the class and try to figure out what to do to make it better. While I have 12 weeks of English under my belt, I'm far from being a great writer.
Take 2
Our Clothing vs. Our Personality
Clothing is intimately associated with our physical self-image and self-concept; while some people dress to impress others dress for comfort. The media introduces the latest name brands and styles, and we conform to try to look the way that makes us feel most comfortable or socially accepted, depending on our personality. While clothing shows our personality to some level, it does not show the inter-most part of us – the kindness, intelligence, love or caring we can have for one another. Clothing strictly shows what our fashion personality is; what we like to wear.
When we see someone in a business suit Monday through Friday we label them as “dressed for success”. We assume they are dressed this way for the office, client meetings, courtroom cases, or direct marketing sales. If we see someone in a suit on Saturday or Sunday we assume they are dressed this way because they are going to a wedding, a nice restaurant, or on a date, but not for business. Society says that someone in a business suit, male or female, is poised, well organized, sophisticated, and confident (http://www.sheilasfashionsense.com/). People dressed in business suits could be thought of as intelligent; they have probably gone to college and earned a degree, and are therefore in a position that requires them to represent themselves professionally.
I have an Uncle who is a partner in an architecture company. He wears suits or slacks and a nice shirt to work and dresses nicely on the weekends. People probably perceive him as snooty, unsociable, impersonal, and yuppyish. However, since I know him personally, I know the other side of him. He is kind and nurturing, which doesn’t show through when he is dealing with clients – those interactions have to be professional and in the best of his interests. He is very generous with his money, he gives a lot of money to charitable causes – he doesn’t do all of these things because they are a tax write off, but because he cares about cancer research, young children in countries stricken with poverty, and research to help childhood diseases.
The media plays a large part in what we think is “cool” to wear, what’s required to be “in”, the latest trend, and what styles are out. From fashion magazines to billboards there is a lot of competition in what designers and clothing companies want us to choose as our style. For some people this has a huge impact on what they shop for, and how often they shop. For others there is little or no impact at all. Normally clothing comes out about four times a year; winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each season can be an extension of the prior season, only the clothing changes for the coolness or warmth of upcoming weather, and other seasons can bring on all new styles. It used to be that each season had its own color scheme – for example fall was brown, green and cream tones. Now there is no set color scheme for any season, but rather what the designers and media have chosen it to be for people to wear. For instance, spring clothing is coming out in stores now and brown and orange is carrying over to the spring from winter and fall.
Society says if we see someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest clothes, that they are rich or spend a lot of money on clothing, that clothes are a high priority to them, or that they are spoiled if they are a child or adolescent.” The art of dress is quite frequently built on the opinions of others” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 71). I can admit that I will buy clothing that I feel will make me noticed, not only as a person in a crowd, but one that has fashion sense, and knows which designers are the ones to buy from. “We may like to think that how we dress is an extension of how we see ourselves, but more commonly, it’s an expression of how we want others to see us” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 71). I recently bought a Michele watch from Nordstroms. I love watches, and I love this designer’s style. However, I cannot lie that when I was choosing the watch I felt a sense of wanting others to see it and realize what good taste I have. It never has anything to do with money, always with others seeing my sense of style and love for clothes and accessories of the greatest name brands. What I’ve learned (although I haven’t changed my shopping and clothing practices) is that it doesn’t let anyone know what type of person I am. Instead I may come across to people as a snob, that I always have to have the latest and greatest thing, that I have a shopping and spending problem (which I do sometimes), and that I have far too many shoes, clothes, and purses. As long as I am showing the people that I come into direct contact with, along with friends and family, that I’m a polite, loving, caring, generous person that is all that matters to me. It hasn’t hindered me from changing what I do regarding my wardrobe and material items.
Not everyone goes with the media and the fashion trends set by them. My husband is a great example. He wears jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes, and a hat almost every day of the year. He wears sweats at home, but not in public – same with shorts. He could care less about what fashion is in, or what he looks like to others. “People choose items for others that reflect their own taste, rather than the recipient’s” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 72). Any fashion he has in his wardrobe is because I do his shopping, and put in name brands where I can get away with it, as long as they won’t be too “flashy” according to him. As long as his clothes don’t have holes in them, stains on them, and they are clean he is happy. His clothing tells people that he is simple and casual. What it doesn’t tell them is he is intelligent and highly successful in his career, that he is compassionate and helps homeless people by giving them his lunch from time to time, or that he is active in our community.
My Son, on the other hand, is a fashion billboard. “In a way, wearing a logo is like wearing gang colors” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg. 72). He has more pairs of shoes than he knows what to do with, he must have 15 pairs of jeans, and four times that many tops. His clothing is casual, but very trendy, and media and billboards definitely have an impact on what he wears. You can tell by his clothing that he shops at Zumies, BC Surf, Hollister, and Abercrombie & Fitch. His clothes change as the styles do, and he doesn’t wear many things out. He is very concerned with the way he looks and models a few different clothing styles. He follows that of snow boarders, punk rock stars, preps, and rappers. He is also a trend-setter, being the first to buy things that come out, including cell phones, the Zune, shoes, and clothing. People at school have labeled him as spoiled, always the first of a group of kids to have the newest things, and out of jealousness name him to have an attitude or to be stuck-up. His friends and family know that he is a fun-loving person with one of the best personalities ever – he is happy-go-lucky, loves to joke around, have fun, and he cares deeply about so many people. He is the furthest from stuck-up that I’ve met in a person.
Most people wear what feels good to them. Unfortunately, there are people who would love to wear things they cannot afford and they make condolences to the next best thing. For some of us clothing can make us feel good about ourselves, make us feel noticed in a crowd, and alter our moods. For others the actual clothing they have on, and the brand name of it, doesn’t matter. To them it is more about just being clean and presentable to the public. Few people don’t care at all what they look like, and by choice wear dirty or holey clothing or shirts or pants that are too small or too big for them. No matter what someone is wearing we should not judge them by the cover, but take time to look inside when given the chance.
Our Clothing vs. Who We Are
Clothing is intimately associated with physical self-image and self-concept; while some people dress to impress others dress for comfort. The media introduces the latest name brands and styles, and people conform to try to look the way that makes them feel most comfortable or socially accepted, depending on their personality. Clothing creates an assumption of who a person is, based on how the clothing is seen worn in movies or in magazines. But, clothing only shows a person’s fashion personality, it does not show the inner-most part of them.
Society says that someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest outfits or athletic wear, are probably rich and spend a lot of money on clothing, or that clothes are a high priority to them, regardless of whether or not they can afford them. In The Fashion V
ictim’s Commandments, Michelle Lee states,”The art of dress is quite frequently built on the opinions of others” (Remix 71). The perception of what we should wear comes from billboards and magazines or actors and actresses. After all, people in the public eye are the first to wear the newest outfit by Calvin Klein, be the first to use the latest snowboard gear by Burton, or sport the newest pair of Nike Shox. Michelle Lee also stated, “We may like to think that how we dress is an extension of how we see ourselves, but more commonly, it’s an expression of how we want others to see us” (The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, Remix 71). Not only may someone who is wearing the latest trend be named fashionable, they can become an idol to others. Collegiate and professional athletes are a great example of this. They are endorsed by different sponsors ranging from Nike to Adidas, Under Armour to Rawlings, or New Balance to Reebok. These companies know that whatever someone’s favorite star athlete is wearing, they too will want to wear it.
Sadly, so many people become consumed by what they are wearing and what they look like to others; trying to impress those around them, that they forget that it should be their personality that people should be attracted to. A great example is someone with a weight problem. They are struggling with their weight, often embarrassed by it, and want to feel a sense of belonging. To do this they continue to buy name brand clothing, hoping to fit in. Unfortunately, no matter how many name brand clothes they buy, it doesn’t say anything about who they are inside. Kirstie Alley is an example of someone who was struggling with weight, who was also in the public eye, and who desperately wanted to fit into the Hollywood picture again. There were other actors and actresses making statements about her weight on talk shows and in magazines, with no regard to who she was as a person. In an interview with Oprah, Kirstie was able to talk openly. It was in this interview which showed who she is inside; a kind, warm, and caring person who was facing the same battle as many other people in this country - obesity. She liked to eat and wasn’t getting physical exercise, and her weight got out of control. But, that didn’t change the way that she respected others feelings, only to be talked about with no regard to her own.
When someone is standing at the corner of a main intersection or at the stop light for a freeway off ramp they are labeled as homeless and worthless. A lot of times the clothes these people are wearing are very dirty; grime showing on their coats and pants, their shoes are torn or un-matching, or their hair and finger nails are greasy and dirty. There is seldom a person who is wearing clean clothing or something that appears new. The assumption is made that these people no longer live in a home and probably in a car, that they lost their job due to negligence on their part, or that they are not trying to get another job to support themselves and their families. It isn’t only their clothing that causes people to believe this, but the information they put on the signs. Some signs say, “Need money. Will work”, “No job, need to feed family”, or “Vietnam Vet who’s homeless. Need money”. The information on these signs should leave little to the imagination, but it doesn’t. There have been plenty of documentaries on 60 Minutes or NBC Nightly News which tell us differently. This has actually become an occupation for some. Instead of a 9-5 job in an office or bank, they go to a street corner dressed in dirty and torn clothing, and actually end up making enough money to live on.
What people don’t take into consideration when someone is standing at the corner with a sign is who they are inside. Part of this problem is the inability to stop and have a conversation with them to find out more about them. The other problem is assumption becomes the automatic default for people. One main assumption is that the person is not trying to find work. Possibly they are disabled and their monthly disability payment doesn’t cover living expenses for their family. Unless the sign their holding says they are a husband or wife, a father or mother, a sister or brother no one would know. And their sign will never say “I’m a fun loving person because…”, “I used to volunteer to help others by…”, or “I was a faithful employee who was laid off and…”. Other than being homeless, they are people who need to feel a sense of belonging, self-esteem, and love and kindness by others. Often time’s people don’t realize how humiliating it may be to that person to have been reduced to standing on a street corner with that sign in their hand, begging from anyone who drives by. It is quite possible that this person now asking for help used to be giving to others by assisting in community centers or donating to a cause for the blind, deaf, cancer, or heart associations.
Most people wear what feels good to them, and some want to wear what feels good
but they don’t have the option to. For some people clothing makes them good about themselves, making them feel noticed in a crowd. For others they choose their clothing because the media says it is the “thing to wear” to fit in. Many other people don’t have a choice about what they wear, they’re just happy to have clothing on their backs. No matter what someone is wearing they should not be judged by what’s seen on the outside, but only after someone has taken the time to look inside and learn about who they are as a person; what their personality and demeanor is.
Works Cited
Clothing is intimately associated with our physical self-image and self-concept; while some people dress to impress others dress for comfort. The media introduces the latest name brands and styles, and we conform to try to look the way that makes us feel most comfortable or socially accepted, depending on our personality. While clothing shows our personality to some level, it does not show the inter-most part of us – the kindness, intelligence, love or caring we can have for one another. Clothing strictly shows what our fashion personality is; what we like to wear.
When we see someone in a business suit Monday through Friday we label them as “dressed for success”. We assume they are dressed this way for the office, client meetings, courtroom cases, or direct marketing sales. If we see someone in a suit on Saturday or Sunday we assume they are dressed this way because they are going to a wedding, a nice restaurant, or on a date, but not for business. Society says that someone in a business suit, male or female, is poised, well organized, sophisticated, and confident (http://www.sheilasfashionsense.com/). People dressed in business suits could be thought of as intelligent; they have probably gone to college and earned a degree, and are therefore in a position that requires them to represent themselves professionally.
I have an Uncle who is a partner in an architecture company. He wears suits or slacks and a nice shirt to work and dresses nicely on the weekends. People probably perceive him as snooty, unsociable, impersonal, and yuppyish. However, since I know him personally, I know the other side of him. He is kind and nurturing, which doesn’t show through when he is dealing with clients – those interactions have to be professional and in the best of his interests. He is very generous with his money, he gives a lot of money to charitable causes – he doesn’t do all of these things because they are a tax write off, but because he cares about cancer research, young children in countries stricken with poverty, and research to help childhood diseases.
The media plays a large part in what we think is “cool” to wear, what’s required to be “in”, the latest trend, and what styles are out. From fashion magazines to billboards there is a lot of competition in what designers and clothing companies want us to choose as our style. For some people this has a huge impact on what they shop for, and how often they shop. For others there is little or no impact at all. Normally clothing comes out about four times a year; winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each season can be an extension of the prior season, only the clothing changes for the coolness or warmth of upcoming weather, and other seasons can bring on all new styles. It used to be that each season had its own color scheme – for example fall was brown, green and cream tones. Now there is no set color scheme for any season, but rather what the designers and media have chosen it to be for people to wear. For instance, spring clothing is coming out in stores now and brown and orange is carrying over to the spring from winter and fall.
Society says if we see someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest clothes, that they are rich or spend a lot of money on clothing, that clothes are a high priority to them, or that they are spoiled if they are a child or adolescent.” The art of dress is quite frequently built on the opinions of others” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 71). I can admit that I will buy clothing that I feel will make me noticed, not only as a person in a crowd, but one that has fashion sense, and knows which designers are the ones to buy from. “We may like to think that how we dress is an extension of how we see ourselves, but more commonly, it’s an expression of how we want others to see us” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 71). I recently bought a Michele watch from Nordstroms. I love watches, and I love this designer’s style. However, I cannot lie that when I was choosing the watch I felt a sense of wanting others to see it and realize what good taste I have. It never has anything to do with money, always with others seeing my sense of style and love for clothes and accessories of the greatest name brands. What I’ve learned (although I haven’t changed my shopping and clothing practices) is that it doesn’t let anyone know what type of person I am. Instead I may come across to people as a snob, that I always have to have the latest and greatest thing, that I have a shopping and spending problem (which I do sometimes), and that I have far too many shoes, clothes, and purses. As long as I am showing the people that I come into direct contact with, along with friends and family, that I’m a polite, loving, caring, generous person that is all that matters to me. It hasn’t hindered me from changing what I do regarding my wardrobe and material items.
Not everyone goes with the media and the fashion trends set by them. My husband is a great example. He wears jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes, and a hat almost every day of the year. He wears sweats at home, but not in public – same with shorts. He could care less about what fashion is in, or what he looks like to others. “People choose items for others that reflect their own taste, rather than the recipient’s” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg 72). Any fashion he has in his wardrobe is because I do his shopping, and put in name brands where I can get away with it, as long as they won’t be too “flashy” according to him. As long as his clothes don’t have holes in them, stains on them, and they are clean he is happy. His clothing tells people that he is simple and casual. What it doesn’t tell them is he is intelligent and highly successful in his career, that he is compassionate and helps homeless people by giving them his lunch from time to time, or that he is active in our community.
My Son, on the other hand, is a fashion billboard. “In a way, wearing a logo is like wearing gang colors” (Michelle Lee, The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, pg. 72). He has more pairs of shoes than he knows what to do with, he must have 15 pairs of jeans, and four times that many tops. His clothing is casual, but very trendy, and media and billboards definitely have an impact on what he wears. You can tell by his clothing that he shops at Zumies, BC Surf, Hollister, and Abercrombie & Fitch. His clothes change as the styles do, and he doesn’t wear many things out. He is very concerned with the way he looks and models a few different clothing styles. He follows that of snow boarders, punk rock stars, preps, and rappers. He is also a trend-setter, being the first to buy things that come out, including cell phones, the Zune, shoes, and clothing. People at school have labeled him as spoiled, always the first of a group of kids to have the newest things, and out of jealousness name him to have an attitude or to be stuck-up. His friends and family know that he is a fun-loving person with one of the best personalities ever – he is happy-go-lucky, loves to joke around, have fun, and he cares deeply about so many people. He is the furthest from stuck-up that I’ve met in a person.
Most people wear what feels good to them. Unfortunately, there are people who would love to wear things they cannot afford and they make condolences to the next best thing. For some of us clothing can make us feel good about ourselves, make us feel noticed in a crowd, and alter our moods. For others the actual clothing they have on, and the brand name of it, doesn’t matter. To them it is more about just being clean and presentable to the public. Few people don’t care at all what they look like, and by choice wear dirty or holey clothing or shirts or pants that are too small or too big for them. No matter what someone is wearing we should not judge them by the cover, but take time to look inside when given the chance.
Our Clothing vs. Who We Are
Clothing is intimately associated with physical self-image and self-concept; while some people dress to impress others dress for comfort. The media introduces the latest name brands and styles, and people conform to try to look the way that makes them feel most comfortable or socially accepted, depending on their personality. Clothing creates an assumption of who a person is, based on how the clothing is seen worn in movies or in magazines. But, clothing only shows a person’s fashion personality, it does not show the inner-most part of them.
Society says that someone with great fashion sense, wearing the trendiest outfits or athletic wear, are probably rich and spend a lot of money on clothing, or that clothes are a high priority to them, regardless of whether or not they can afford them. In The Fashion V
ictim’s Commandments, Michelle Lee states,”The art of dress is quite frequently built on the opinions of others” (Remix 71). The perception of what we should wear comes from billboards and magazines or actors and actresses. After all, people in the public eye are the first to wear the newest outfit by Calvin Klein, be the first to use the latest snowboard gear by Burton, or sport the newest pair of Nike Shox. Michelle Lee also stated, “We may like to think that how we dress is an extension of how we see ourselves, but more commonly, it’s an expression of how we want others to see us” (The Fashion Victim’s Ten Commandments, Remix 71). Not only may someone who is wearing the latest trend be named fashionable, they can become an idol to others. Collegiate and professional athletes are a great example of this. They are endorsed by different sponsors ranging from Nike to Adidas, Under Armour to Rawlings, or New Balance to Reebok. These companies know that whatever someone’s favorite star athlete is wearing, they too will want to wear it. Sadly, so many people become consumed by what they are wearing and what they look like to others; trying to impress those around them, that they forget that it should be their personality that people should be attracted to. A great example is someone with a weight problem. They are struggling with their weight, often embarrassed by it, and want to feel a sense of belonging. To do this they continue to buy name brand clothing, hoping to fit in. Unfortunately, no matter how many name brand clothes they buy, it doesn’t say anything about who they are inside. Kirstie Alley is an example of someone who was struggling with weight, who was also in the public eye, and who desperately wanted to fit into the Hollywood picture again. There were other actors and actresses making statements about her weight on talk shows and in magazines, with no regard to who she was as a person. In an interview with Oprah, Kirstie was able to talk openly. It was in this interview which showed who she is inside; a kind, warm, and caring person who was facing the same battle as many other people in this country - obesity. She liked to eat and wasn’t getting physical exercise, and her weight got out of control. But, that didn’t change the way that she respected others feelings, only to be talked about with no regard to her own.
When someone is standing at the corner of a main intersection or at the stop light for a freeway off ramp they are labeled as homeless and worthless. A lot of times the clothes these people are wearing are very dirty; grime showing on their coats and pants, their shoes are torn or un-matching, or their hair and finger nails are greasy and dirty. There is seldom a person who is wearing clean clothing or something that appears new. The assumption is made that these people no longer live in a home and probably in a car, that they lost their job due to negligence on their part, or that they are not trying to get another job to support themselves and their families. It isn’t only their clothing that causes people to believe this, but the information they put on the signs. Some signs say, “Need money. Will work”, “No job, need to feed family”, or “Vietnam Vet who’s homeless. Need money”. The information on these signs should leave little to the imagination, but it doesn’t. There have been plenty of documentaries on 60 Minutes or NBC Nightly News which tell us differently. This has actually become an occupation for some. Instead of a 9-5 job in an office or bank, they go to a street corner dressed in dirty and torn clothing, and actually end up making enough money to live on.
What people don’t take into consideration when someone is standing at the corner with a sign is who they are inside. Part of this problem is the inability to stop and have a conversation with them to find out more about them. The other problem is assumption becomes the automatic default for people. One main assumption is that the person is not trying to find work. Possibly they are disabled and their monthly disability payment doesn’t cover living expenses for their family. Unless the sign their holding says they are a husband or wife, a father or mother, a sister or brother no one would know. And their sign will never say “I’m a fun loving person because…”, “I used to volunteer to help others by…”, or “I was a faithful employee who was laid off and…”. Other than being homeless, they are people who need to feel a sense of belonging, self-esteem, and love and kindness by others. Often time’s people don’t realize how humiliating it may be to that person to have been reduced to standing on a street corner with that sign in their hand, begging from anyone who drives by. It is quite possible that this person now asking for help used to be giving to others by assisting in community centers or donating to a cause for the blind, deaf, cancer, or heart associations.
Most people wear what feels good to them, and some want to wear what feels good
but they don’t have the option to. For some people clothing makes them good about themselves, making them feel noticed in a crowd. For others they choose their clothing because the media says it is the “thing to wear” to fit in. Many other people don’t have a choice about what they wear, they’re just happy to have clothing on their backs. No matter what someone is wearing they should not be judged by what’s seen on the outside, but only after someone has taken the time to look inside and learn about who they are as a person; what their personality and demeanor is.Works Cited
“Sheila’s Fashion Sense"
My Voice
This piece is from my first group discussion board. The assignment was to read two essays in the Identity chapter and determine what the thesis statement was and how the author argued their points. The topic was Gender and Identity Markers, and the essays were "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Kathy Wilson (Remix 21) and "The "He" Hormone" by Andrew Sullivan (Remix 25). As groups we summarized the essays, depicted the thesis, and determined if we thought the two authors would agree with each other.
Wilson wrote "Dude Looks Like a Lady" and was boyish in her looks. She wore her hair very short and was disturbed by the fact that everyone thought she was a man. She felt it was apparent that she was a woman despite the fact that her hair was short because her breasts made it obvious she was a woman. Proving her identity as a woman was always a challenge and she didn't care for it, but had excuses about why she didn't want to change her hairstyle; she was lazy and it was cool looking to her. Wilson was not very friendly to people, especially those who made this mistake. She had nicknames for everyone, generally based on their color or background. She was enraged at someone she called "Redneck Man" because he said to "take her boy-lookin' ass on somewhere!" (23). She tried to chase him down in the road, to get him at a stop light so she could give him a piece of her mind, but luckily the light turned and he was gone. Upon realizing she almost let this man have power over her she said, "I am a black woman whose bald head makes me invisible to some, boyish to others, and beautiful to me" (23).
Sullivan wrote "The "He" Hormone" and wrote about his findings from taking testosterone because he is HIV positive, as well as the affects it has on both men and women. He makes it clear in his writings that he is in favor of taking testosterone even though there is the seldom anger episode that he doesn't like having. While he is taking it for a medical reason, he states that he would continue to take it even if a Dr. didn't prescribe it for him. He spent time discussing the effects of testosterone on other men who are taking it. Their feedback was "It turned my life around", "I felt stronger-and not just in a physical sense. It was a deep sense of being strong, almost spiritually strong.", and "I walk into a business meeting now and I just exude self-confidence" (29). In our discussion board posts we talked about whether he was speaking from facts he found through research, or those that were speculation but that he favored. He used the words may have and may be a lot, leading us to think he did in fact research the issues and took the points he favored the most based on his own experiences, and used them to write his essay. He did include some actual facts such as genital distinction, body hair, the ratio of muscle to fat, upper-body strength, and behavioral differences in men and women.
During this discussion board we analyzed not only whether or not the two authors would agree with each other, but whether or not we agreed with them. The group felt Sullivan would agree with how White felt, but White would not agree with how Sullivan felt. They also thought White may of had higher testosterone levels, causing her to be OK with looking like a man because that was most comfortable to her. Higher testosterone levels could also account for the way she became angry towards people so easily. Someone asked me if I felt that Wilson had more testosterone than other women because of the way she looked and led her life and the choices she made regarding her appearance. I do feel that Wilson could have more testosterone than other women, because she doesn't care that her hair looks like a man's, but doesn't want to be looked at that way. We also talked about the fact that testosterone levels may impact which partner in a gay relationship is the male figure vs. the female figure, depending on the sex. In the female relationship the male role may be played by the women with the most testosterone. This discussion board was out of the ordinary because of the conversations we had, but we all remained courteous and ethical, so that we would not offend anyone.
Wilson wrote "Dude Looks Like a Lady" and was boyish in her looks. She wore her hair very short and was disturbed by the fact that everyone thought she was a man. She felt it was apparent that she was a woman despite the fact that her hair was short because her breasts made it obvious she was a woman. Proving her identity as a woman was always a challenge and she didn't care for it, but had excuses about why she didn't want to change her hairstyle; she was lazy and it was cool looking to her. Wilson was not very friendly to people, especially those who made this mistake. She had nicknames for everyone, generally based on their color or background. She was enraged at someone she called "Redneck Man" because he said to "take her boy-lookin' ass on somewhere!" (23). She tried to chase him down in the road, to get him at a stop light so she could give him a piece of her mind, but luckily the light turned and he was gone. Upon realizing she almost let this man have power over her she said, "I am a black woman whose bald head makes me invisible to some, boyish to others, and beautiful to me" (23).
Sullivan wrote "The "He" Hormone" and wrote about his findings from taking testosterone because he is HIV positive, as well as the affects it has on both men and women. He makes it clear in his writings that he is in favor of taking testosterone even though there is the seldom anger episode that he doesn't like having. While he is taking it for a medical reason, he states that he would continue to take it even if a Dr. didn't prescribe it for him. He spent time discussing the effects of testosterone on other men who are taking it. Their feedback was "It turned my life around", "I felt stronger-and not just in a physical sense. It was a deep sense of being strong, almost spiritually strong.", and "I walk into a business meeting now and I just exude self-confidence" (29). In our discussion board posts we talked about whether he was speaking from facts he found through research, or those that were speculation but that he favored. He used the words may have and may be a lot, leading us to think he did in fact research the issues and took the points he favored the most based on his own experiences, and used them to write his essay. He did include some actual facts such as genital distinction, body hair, the ratio of muscle to fat, upper-body strength, and behavioral differences in men and women.
During this discussion board we analyzed not only whether or not the two authors would agree with each other, but whether or not we agreed with them. The group felt Sullivan would agree with how White felt, but White would not agree with how Sullivan felt. They also thought White may of had higher testosterone levels, causing her to be OK with looking like a man because that was most comfortable to her. Higher testosterone levels could also account for the way she became angry towards people so easily. Someone asked me if I felt that Wilson had more testosterone than other women because of the way she looked and led her life and the choices she made regarding her appearance. I do feel that Wilson could have more testosterone than other women, because she doesn't care that her hair looks like a man's, but doesn't want to be looked at that way. We also talked about the fact that testosterone levels may impact which partner in a gay relationship is the male figure vs. the female figure, depending on the sex. In the female relationship the male role may be played by the women with the most testosterone. This discussion board was out of the ordinary because of the conversations we had, but we all remained courteous and ethical, so that we would not offend anyone.
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